Long Courtship Makes You Vulnerable To Heart Break , Ladies Beware

It Makes You Vulnerable To Heart Break
Chima and Nmasichi met during their youth service
seven years ago. They became lovers and virtually
inseparable. They rented an apartment where they lived
together all through their service year.
She got pregnant twice but had to abort the babies since
they were not ready to start a family yet. Chima
promised to marry her once they finished serving and
get a good job.
After their NYSC, she got a job before him and
supported him for over a year from her salary as an
account officer in a small firm. Finally, he was able to
secure a job as a computer analyst in an oil firm.
She was ecstatic about the news and believed that very
soon, she and Chima will get married. Unfortunately, that
dream was short lived as Chima’s father was diagnosed
of hypertension and diabetes. He suffered a stroke and
had to be constantly hospitalsied and monitored to
stabilise him.
This of course took a heavy toll on Chima’s finances as
the first son. He was also saddled with the
responsibility of seeing his two younger brothers
through the University since their father was no longer
in any condition to cater for the family.
That was how Nmasichi waited endlessly and patiently
for six years for Chima to settle all his numerous family
problems so they could settle down as husband and
wife. Eventually, his two brothers graduated from the
University and his father’s condition stabilised to the
extent he could be managed at home with the necessary
apparatus needed to monitor his blood pressure and
sugar level.
So, it was only ideal for her to ask Chima to set the date
for their wedding; but he kept giving her lame excuses
of work pressure and the need to save good money
before finally settling down. Recently, she also
discovered that he became somewhat distant. He hardly
comes to visit her since he moved out from her little
room and rented a bigger apartment where he claimed
they will soon start their family together.
You can then imagine the rude shock she received when
she opened the anonymous letter that was left on her
door step last night. Someone apparently wanted her to
know about the cruel injustice meted on her by the man
she has wasted the years of her youth waiting for. He’s
getting married to someone else and everybody knows
about it except her.
Now, she’s very angry, desperate and terribly confused.
She feels as if someone practically ripped her heart from
the rib cage. She’s torn in shreds and wants to take out
her revenge on Chima in whatever way she can. No one
will make a fool out of her for this long and think they
can get away with it.
She must get her own pound of flesh from Chima,
Nmasichi vowed to herself. A very sad story of love and
betrayal isn’t it? But this is what happens when you get
tangled in a long relationship heading nowhere. Ladies,
don’t get engaged to man for more than two years
please! In fact, a man should not even think of getting
married unless he’s sure he can perfect his marriage
plans within a space of 18 months.
Women have suffered severally in the hands of the men
they fall in love with all in the name of being engaged.
Promises are not meant to be broken.
The vows of commitment we make to people we love in
the hit of passion may be overlooked, but when you
have woken up from the throes of passion and realise
you can no longer keep up with the relationship, please
let the other person off the hook.
It’s worse if they find out after a long period of time that
you never intended to keep your word. The danger
behind promise and fail in long time relationship is the
bitterness it brews. Nobody likes to be played for a fool.
That is why we keep hearing horror stories of how a
woman killed her former boyfriend because he broke the
relationship or a man pours acid on his former girlfriend
just to make sure no other man looks at her. I am not
saying these people are justified in their actions but the
truth is that, this could be avoided if the other partner
was upfront about his/her feelings.
If you have suffered a broken heart caused by longtime
relationship, please allow divine justice to play its
cause; don’t take the law into your hands. This is why I
don’t advocate anyone to go into long time courtship.
Anything can happen within those years to warrant the
promise to be broken.
The person may not have done it on purpose, but
circumstances usually change the course of life;
throwing the couple apart and causing unintentional
broken promises and wasted years.
That is why I’ll insist that if you made a promise to your
loved one for something as serious as marriage make
sure you fulfill it as soon as possible. But, if you are not
yet ready, keep your promises to yourself. Don’t make
promises you are not yet ready to fulfill if you do not
want karma to make an unscheduled visit to your
destiny.
[By Vanessa Okwara]