Woman Tells Shocking Story - Why I Went Ahead to Marry My Boyfriend Who Infected Me With HIV

THE COUPLE

Her misery started after a scary dream on June 24, 2016.
It was five months to her wedding. Thirty-year-old
Talatu John (not real name), a postgraduate student of a
university in the North, woke up feeling disturbed.
It was not the first time she had nightmares, but this
particular day was different.
“I had a dream that when I went to collect the result of
the HIV/AIDS test I did, the result showed that I was
positive. I began to cry in the dream and many people
tried to console me,” she said.
Sadly, the dream turned out to be real. Indeed, she had
gone for a HIV test but was yet to get the result. When
she went to collect the result of the test on the day of
the dream, it showed she was HIV positive.
Amid sobs, Talatu Sunday Punch, “What pains me most
is that my boyfriend had the virus but never told me. We
were having unsafe sex regularly.
“I don’t know why he never told me despite the fact that
he truly loves me. I saw it in my dream, but it has
become a regrettable reality.”
Talatu and Emmanuel met in 2014 when the former was
searching for a job at a government agency in the state
capital. Before long, they fell head over heels in love.
She narrated to Sunday Punch that their love
transcended the ordinary, adding that nothing indicated
that something was wrong with her partner.
Talatu launched into a long narration of how she found
out the truth.
She said, “I love him. I still do. The love was so strong
that I gave him all my heart. We had unprotected sex at
different times. I was so much in love that I never cared
whether we used a condom or not. I was not even
scared of being pregnant. He too never bothered to use
a condom.
“Then, I didn’t know he was HIV positive and he never
told me. Later, my sister, a nurse, told me she learnt that
he (Emmanuel) is HIV positive and that I should search
his room. She gave me the name of the drug he was
using. But I never found any. In order to be sure I was
not already infected, I went for HIV/AIDS test and it
showed that I was negative. That calmed my nerves.
“But early this year, I found out I was getting regularly
sick. I used to feel hot and tired easily. After repeated
medications for malaria, I didn’t get better. Then I
started depreciating in size. I was advised to go for HIV
test.
“The lady at the laboratory handed the result to me and
told me to see the doctor. She raised my curiosity when
she told me she couldn’t tell me the result. The doctor
then dropped the bombshell. I was devastated. So, in
anger, I went to confront my boyfriend with the news
but he denied.
“I started crying and he consoled me; we had already
made arrangements for our wedding. It was a day before
we went for counselling at the church that he told me
the truth. Sometimes, we quarrel over this and I used to
call him the ‘devil.’ But he kept on consoling me.”
Last week Saturday at a popular church in Lafia, the
Nasarawa State capital, Talatu took a bold step and
demonstrated that true love keeps no record of wrongs
when she got married to Emmanuel at a lavish
ceremony.
According to the couple, the church consented to the
wedding because both of them are HIV positive. The
church was filled to capacity as well-wishers, family and
friends of the couple attended the occasion.
Dressed in a black suit and white flowery gown, the
couple wore infectious smiles while the event lasted. In
his goodwill message for the groom and the bride, the
officiating minister (names withheld), urged them to
always be patient with each other and avoid third party
interference in their marriage.
He admonished them to be contented with whatever God
provided for them and learn to tolerate each other,
saying such an attitude would go a long way in ensuring
lasting peace in their home.
He said, “Marriage is an institution. Please, you should
be courageous and handle your matter within your
home, no matter the circumstance that surrounds your
marriage. Do not allow any third party to settle your
disagreements. This will ruin your marriage. You shall
bear many children in your marriage. In fact, your first
children will be twins in Jesus’ name.”
Basking in the euphoria of the wedlock, the couple, who
spoke in separate interviews with Sunday Punch shortly
after the wedding, said they were happy.
Emmanuel said he was delighted and grateful to God for
making his dream a reality.
He said, “In fact, I am overwhelmed. Today is my day
and I never expected this crowd on my wedding day. I
really appreciate everyone who took time out of their
schedule to honour us. It is a wonderful union indeed.
This joy is unquantifiable and there is no day in my life
that is as important as this day.”
Emmanuel said he would have missed a lot in life if he
had not met Talatu. “My wife is a very loving and caring
woman, incomparable to any other woman. In fact, if I
had not married her, I would have missed a lot of things
in life,” he stated.
According to Sunday Punch, it was however, noticed
that although there was joy written on John’s face, she
did not hide her regret. She had told our correspondents
that her husband was unwilling to talk about his HIV
status or circumstances of their marriage.
She said, “I really appreciate God for making it possible
to witness this day alongside my lovely husband. The
marriage is an act of God. I thank God He has finally
joined us together as husband and wife.
“I pray that the love that binds us together would
continue forever and ever in Jesus’ name. I pray that the
marriage will be a success. I have forgiven him but he
cheated me by hiding the truth that he is HIV positive
from me. If he had told me his HIV status, it’s either I
accepted or rejected his marriage proposal. Although I
have forgiven him and accepted my fate, sometimes I
wish I never met him.”
Talatu, who looked distantly into the future as she
spoke, added that she learnt from the experience and
had taken a bold step to move on with her life whether
HIV positive or negative.
“My regret is that I will always be on drugs for the rest
of my life. He even warned me not to tell my family
about my status. I wished that I remained a virgin. I also
regret not using condoms while the courtship lasted.
“Sometimes, if you are in love, you will be fooled. I
advise young ladies to be careful. It is better to listen to
wise counsel than bear the consequences of wrong
decisions. I have learnt my lessons,” she said.
Speaking on the marriage, a University of Lagos
psychologist, Prof. Oni Fagbohungbe, said hiding ones’
HIV status from one’s lover was unacceptable and
detrimental to such a relationship.
Fagbohungbe said many people who indulge in such
deceit do so out of fear that if they reveal the truth, their
partners might not agree to marry them.
He, however, noted that Emmanuel behaved wrongly by
not disclosing his status to his wife, adding that people
like Emmanuel always use the Bible, which preaches
forgiveness, to appeal to their lovers.
Aside from the fact that such an act is morally
unacceptable, the don said Emmanuel’s behaviour was
criminal.
On what people in such relationships should do,
Fagbohungbe said, “From the beginning of the human
race, deception to achieve one’s aim has always been a
recurring feature. This is very bad. The consequence of
deceit is detrimental.
“For people in such a relationship, they should count
the cost. If the consequence of continuing in such a
relationship outweighs the benefits, I will advise that
they opt out.”

- Via Sunday Punch